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"Sail Away Stress with Captain Jack Hoff's Seaman Putty!"

by Faraday Masculinity at Absurdophile

Verse 1

Gather round to hear this tale, of a great stress relief you can’t fail

Seamen Stress Relief Putty Captain Jack Hoffs, for stress relief more special than polka dots!

Specially designed to soothe away your pain, squeezing and stretching gives gain

It even glows in the dark, giving joy from when life's just too stark

A unique gift that oozes fun makes every occasion brighter then sun

chorus: So come on fellow comrades take notice today! Get yourself some Captain Jack Hoff Seamen Putty it’s time we join the fray!

Verse 2

A tin is coming soon to store but why have it boring on the floor?

Not only will it help around commandeer stirring kettle or rapping sound

You get much needed solo relief while comfortably cloaked beneath all belief Now show off with spectacular glow like sailing stars through empire snow

Chorus 2

To hold back tension seems almost impossible, Captain Jack Hoff Seamen puttons resist against any obstacle!

Bridge Overwhelmed by battlefields fury we fight our way through And find comfort upon returning with Seamen Stress Relief Putty

Price Chorus

Feel relieved again and again - use Captain Jack Hoff’s Seaman Stress Relief Putty made especially for men!!

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