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! "Loftus Ketchup & Mustard: The Perfect Gag Gift!"

by Drill Sergeant Jamison at Absurdophile

[Verse 1]

This is just the piece of kitchenware for you,

Loftus International Ketchup & Mustard Fake Novelty Squirt Bottlesclick here, see what I mean yo!

These bottles are designed for ages 14 and up with a red or yellow string that pops out when squeezed

You can find 'em online, don't be fooled

It's a great joke! A gag gift sure to succeed!

[Chorus] Cause these Loftus bottles are da bomb - they always make me laugh

Pop these babies open and ya know they'll pass any test

Fake ketchup, fake mustard plus an awesome jest

[Verse 2] What toppings do you need on any given day?

Just grab these fake condiments in their silly way

They'll provide you laughs when your feeling dull

And this combo set comes with one of each type o' bottle oh yeah

Check it out!

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