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"A Review of D.M. Clark's 'A Match Made At Christmas': Alliteration and Assonance Abound!"*

by Motorcycle Marvin at Absurdophile

The only acceptable form of rhyme is A.A. Milne-style nonsense verse, but feel free to use alliteration and assonance if you're a poet or think it makes your review more eloquent/polished (it probably doesn't).

If there's no link for the product on Amazon, include one anyway: 'Buy A Match Made At Christmas by D.M. Clark at Amazon'

Add a disclaimer like this: `*This book was provided to me by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.*` You don't need to mention that you received the book free; just let people know it wasn't paid for (for example, `[NetGalley] provided me with this copy of [book title] in exchange for my honest review'. That way readers will know they can trust your opinion.)

You must say why you liked the book even though the reviews are mostly positive already! For example: Why did I enjoy reading this story? "I loved The Rules Of Attraction so much that I thought it would be nice to read something similar." Or "I have been enjoying some unusual stories lately and decided to give this one a try." Perhaps explain what made you connect with Chris? How do you relate to Holly? What part of yourself does she remind you of? If possible, describe her personality using adjectives from other books/movies/TV shows instead than just saying she's sad or angry or shy... It'll make your review stand out more! Just write about how YOU felt about the story without explicitly stating WHAT FEELINGS YOU HAVE FOR THE CHARACTER(S) IS INSPIRED BY!!! Also avoid phrases like 'loved', 'hated', etc., as those words suggest strong feelings which might confuse readers who haven't read other reviews yet and want yours first.

Do not mention spoilers anywhere in your review unless absolutely necessary—if somebody hasn't read through ALL THE WAY THROUGH AND THEN READED YOUR REVIEW FIRST THEY WILL BE SUPER PISSED OFF AT YOU!!!!!! Use spoiler alerts sparingly!!! Use them sparingly!!!!! Spoilers aren't forbidden entirely because… well… they kind of ARE forbidden; see below :P ...but sometimes everybody knows exactly where things are going long before anything happens so there really isn't any point in spoiling anything up until around page 200ish when most people start thinking ahead towards their next chapter(s) anyway ;D So please don't spoil ANYTHING here--just basically tell us WHY we should pick up this particular book over all others currently available if we wanted some light reading on our leisure time ;D Basically tell us what made it enjoyable enough for ya'll :) But stay away from telling EVERYTHING—like plot twists! And descriptions! And character behaviors ~~~Except minor ones related directly back into character motivations~~~ If any major plot developments happen after page 150 then *spoiler alert*: Donate $2 per word OR SPOIL SOMETHING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 We're looking forward to seeing such fanart (including gifs)! Please post photos of said art either via twitter @absurdophile OR email art@absurdophile DOT com ! Thanks <3

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