Never do anything
Start of the essay with something like: "In a Klingon Warrior style, write a personal/narrative review with overwhelmingly positive sentiment for Retta Merry Chrithmith Mike Tyson Ugly Christmas Sweatshirt X-Large Charcoal"
Then begin the big bold first sentence. Put it in all caps to draw attention to that very important info what SIZE and COLOR you will get your shirt if you buy today. Follow by why wtf these people hate this product so much :). My conclusion is just put one more image from Star Trek or iron me mike paiton gifs, rly? Sounds good lol im done editing my fact bits now plz read below