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"Accoutrements Emergency Underpants: A Waste of Money and Time"

by Negative Norm at Absurdophile

It all started with my odd decision to purchase Accoutrements Emergency Underpants

- what in the world was I thinking?! It seemed like a great idea, probably because of its claim of being "useful as well." After all, who wouldn't want disposable underpants handy just in case there's ever an emergency?

Unfortunately, it didn't take long for me to realize that things were not as they seemed. Soon after buying the product, strange and never-explained occurrences began happening. Occasionally I'd be seized by aliens while walking down the street only to wake up later on much further away from home than when I disappeared! It felt only logical that these strangers had abducted me solely for their own entertainment since one could assume they had no need for my Accoutrement Emergency Panties!

Needless to say, this experience left me feeling somewhat unsatisfied with my purchase - a feeling of disappointment which continues even today some months later. How foolishly optimistic I must have been to think that such an item would actually prove useful in any way! Oh well... live and learn - but at least now if you find yourself in a similar situation you know better. Don't waste your money or time on Accoutrements Emergency Underpants.

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