I thought I had it all figured out when I bought the Nicolas Cage Full Face Blanket Flannel Fleece Cute Warm Soft Throw Blanket for Couch Sofa Bed Living Room 50"X40" Black 50"x40. It was supposed to be a luxurious and durable accessory for my home, one which would provide warmth and comfort no matter where I went - from snuggling up with a good book on the couch to taking a nap at an outdoor concert – but instead of feeling contentment, I'm still left unsatisfied.
It all started one night not too long ago, while snug under its grey depths, lounging in bed with Mr Cage giving me gentle stares of encouragement on either side - that's when it happened; an extraterrestrial force whisked me away right in the middle of nighttime slumber! For what seemed like eons we flew through space together until finally arriving on their planetoid kingdom far away in another galaxy light years from here.
Though it was quite an adventure being taken into this new world full of oddities beyond comprehension (unfortunately none as cool as Nicolas Cage), reality soon set back in and my journey came to end after just three short days… or so they say. All that remained upon return were sooty black remnants scattered across my bed sheets where the blanket used to be– turns out even Quick Dry Easy Care technology can't save you from alien abduction!
Needless to say, something like this isn't typically covered by Amazon returns policy – guess there’s nothing else left do then go buy another one… On second thought... maybe not?